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The Perfect Pork Pie Recipe

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In the realm of gastronomy, there’s a certain magic that unfolds when a recipe surpasses expectations, leaving taste buds tingling with delight and hearts brimming with satisfaction. Such moments are rare treasures, cherished by both novice cooks and seasoned chefs alike. Recently, my culinary journey led me to discover one such gem – the Raised Pork Pie recipe from BBC Good Food. (LINK)

With skepticism in my stride, I embarked on this culinary adventure, armed with little more than a pinch of doubt and a dash of curiosity. The idea of crafting a traditional pork pie seemed daunting, reserved for those with a penchant for complex baking endeavors. However, as I delved into the intricacies of the recipe, I found myself pleasantly surprised at every turn.

The journey commenced with the preparation of the hot water crust pastry – a blend of flour, pork lard, and water, imbued with the promise of flaky perfection. As the dough came together under my careful ministrations (kneading dough is strangely satisfying), I couldn’t help but marvel at its pliability, a testament to my loving hands, no doubt.

With the pastry resting, it was time to turn my attention to the star of the show – the savory filling. A symphony of pork, bacon, herbs, and spices danced before me, each ingredient lending its unique melody to the ensemble. As the aroma of cooking meat filled the air, I felt a sense of anticipation building within me, eager to witness the culmination of my culinary endeavors.

With the pastry rolled and the filling nestled snugly within its golden embrace, the pie embarked on its transformative journey within the confines of the oven. As minutes stretched into hours (it’s not a short project this one), the kitchen became a sanctuary of tantalising scents, each wafting aroma a harbinger of the culinary masterpiece that awaited.

Finally, the moment of truth arrived as I beheld the finished creation – a sight to behold, with its golden crust glistening in the ambient light (granted a little bit of leakage had spoilt the overall effect), promising untold delights within. Having to wait overnight before being able to eat the pie was the worst part of the whole experience. At 8am, as soon as I woke up, I sliced into the pie, revealing layers of succulent pork and aromatic herbs, bound together in a harmonious union of flavour and texture.

As I took my first bite, a symphony of sensations enveloped my senses – the crispness of the pastry yielding to the tender embrace of the filling, each mouthful a revelation of culinary excellence. With each subsequent bite, I found myself transported to back to England, a realm where pork pies reign supreme and snack dreams come to fruition (scotch eggs are next).

In retrospect, my encounter with the Pork Pie recipe was nothing short of a revelation – a testament to the transformative power of culinary exploration (which I seem to be doing more of as I get more middle aged). What began as a mere recipe transcended into an unforgettable journey of discovery, reaffirming my belief in the power of good food and the joy it brings to both creator and consumer alike.

In conclusion, the Pork Pie recipe from BBC Good Food stands as a testament to the beauty of culinary craftsmanship – a masterpiece waiting to be discovered by all who dare to embark on this savoury odyssey. So, to all aspiring pie makers and foodies (I hate that term), I extend an invitation to delve into the world of making your own pork pies and unlock the secrets of old fashioned snacks.

The Top 5 “Oh No!” Moments of 2024: A Worrywart’s Guide to Modern Quirks

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As we shuffle further into the mysterious void of the 21st century, it’s become abundantly clear that the world’s spinning faster than a Fred Astaire on caffeine. And with each passing year, we’re greeted with new wrinkles in the fabric of society that have us muttering, “Well, it wasn’t like that in my day!” So, grab your reading glasses and a healthy dose of skepticism, because we’re diving headfirst into the top five “Oh No!” moments of 2024 that have us furrowing our brows and reaching for the antacid.

  1. Youthful Exuberance… or Lack Thereof: Remember the good ol’ days when kids played outside until the streetlights flickered on and the only “likes” they cared about were the ones they got from scoring a goal in neighborhood soccer? Yeah, neither do we. These days, the youth seem to be more interested in perfecting their selfie angles and crafting the perfect Fortnite dance than, you know, experiencing life beyond the digital realm. Call us old-fashioned, but we miss the days when “socializing” meant more than just sending a string of emojis.
  2. The Rise of Social Media Influencers: Ah, the age of the influencer. Because why strive for a Nobel Prize when you can get paid to peddle diet teas and teeth-whitening products on Instagram? It seems like everyone and their grandmother (literally) is trying to become the next big thing on social media, trading authenticity for filters and sponsored content. The worst part? We’re not entirely sure if they even know what they’re influencing anymore. #Ad #ExistentialCrisis
  3. Vaping: The New Fad That’s Leaving Us Breathless: Remember when the cool kids smoked cigarettes behind the school gymnasium? Well, move over, Marlboro Man, because there’s a new cock in the roost, and its name is vaping. With its flashy flavours and sleek designs, vaping has become the nicotine delivery method du jour for the younger generation. But while they’re busy blowing clouds in the shape of unicorns, we’re left scratching our heads and wondering if they’ve ever heard of good ol’ fashioned cancer.
  4. Not Enough Drinking… Wait, What?: In a shocking turn of events, it seems like today’s youth are eschewing the time-honored tradition of drowning their sorrows in a pint of ale or a glass of whiskey. Instead, they’re opting for… gasp… sobriety. Sure, we’re all for making responsible choices and staying hydrated, but there’s something undeniably unsettling about a world where the local pub is emptier than a politician’s promises.
  5. The Perils of Instant Gratification: In a society where Amazon can deliver toilet paper to your doorstep faster than you can say “two-day shipping,” it’s no wonder we’ve become accustomed to instant gratification. But what happens when we’re forced to wait longer than five minutes for our avocado on toast or our favourite Netflix series to buffer? Panic ensues, that’s what. Call us crazy, but we miss the anticipation of waiting for something special, rather than expecting everything to be available at the snap of our fingers.

So, there you have it, folks. The top five “Oh No!” moments of 2024 that have us shaking our heads and muttering, “Kids these days.” But hey, who knows? Maybe in another 50 years, we’ll look back on these worries and laugh at how quaint they seem. Until then, we’ll just keep sipping our tea and scrolling through our feeds, hoping for a glimpse of the good ol’ days.

The misadventures of the middle-aged, straight white guy: A Comedy of Errors in 2024

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Ah, the middle-aged, straight white guy of 2024 – navigating life’s obstacle course with all the finesse of a bull in a china shop. In a world where diversity is celebrated and political correctness reigns supreme, our protagonist finds himself in a perpetual state of befuddlement.

Picture this: our hero, armed with his trusty khakis and sensible haircut, ventures forth into the great unknown of modern society. Little does he know, he’s about to embark on a journey filled with existential crises and awkward encounters.

First, let’s address the elephant in the room: privilege. Yes, our protagonist may have been born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but don’t be fooled – life isn’t all golf courses and country clubs. He’s just as susceptible to embarrassing social gaffes and midlife crises as the rest of us.

Take, for example, the ever-evolving landscape of masculinity. Our hero is caught between a rock and a hard place – torn between the rugged stoicism of his forefathers and the sensitive new age guy archetype. Cue the existential crisis as he struggles to reconcile his love for power tools with his newfound appreciation for emotional vulnerability.

And let’s not forget the minefield of identity politics. In a world where every demographic gets its own special label, our protagonist finds himself feeling a tad left out. “Where’s the straight white guy appreciation day?” he laments, as he scrolls through his increasingly irrelevant Facebook feed.

But fear not, dear reader, for our hero is nothing if not resilient. Armed with dad jokes and a healthy dose of self-deprecation, he soldiers on, facing each new challenge with a mix of cluelessness and good-natured optimism.

In conclusion, being a middle-aged, straight white guy in 2024 may come with its fair share of pitfalls, but it’s also a comedy of errors in its own right. So here’s to our bumbling protagonist – may he continue to stumble through life with grace and humor, one awkward encounter at a time.

Oh god its sciatica

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In May 2021 I started to get neck pain shortly followed by pains in my left leg. I thought nothing of it, other than im getting old. I’ve been making those involuntarily noises an old man makes when he stands up for years now, the pains were just a matter of time.

I am a big ‘Googler’ so I started my online research and it turned out it could be anything from a tight muscle in my ass to full blown testicular cancer. Despite this news, like all men, going to the doctors was definitely a last resort so instead I decided to join my family on a short holiday around the North Island (of New Zealand). Day one and the pain was so bad that I booked myself into a physiotherapist in Taupo town centre who, for a mere $130, would squeeze her thumb into my butt cheek so hard that blood came out my eyes (ok they were actually tears but it felt like blood at the time.) She wrote on a piece of paper the name of an obscure muscle in the top of the leg that was most likely the cause of all the pain. I thanked her and left to go and scream at my two kids, having lost all self control due to debilitating pain.

Months later I was back at work and the pain was going nowhere. The weird thing now was that it hurt when I was sitting down, as well and standing up. Bending over was impossible and most of the time I felt like I needed to urinate. My short lived mid life crisis, as a skateboarder, had come to an end as it seems going sideways with your head permanently turned made the pain ten times worse. It was also now clear that anything over 15kg sent an electric pain bolt straight down my left leg and culminated into a fizzing bomb in my foot.

Having ruled our massage and physiotherapy I thought I would give an osteopath an opportunity to make me whole again. The first osteopath seemed quite normal and was quite adept at making my bones crack, he seemed desperate to get a free Christmas ham from me but fundamentally made no difference to my pain.

Given that my leg pain had started during a period of fortnightly migraines I thought they might be related so I decided to try a cranial osteopath. This is when things stared turning a little weird. Laying on a bed whilst a man holds my body perfectly still in his arms for five long minutes just didn’t quite feel right. When he finally started to discuss the horrors and dangers of getting the Covid vaccine I knew I was in the wrong place.

By September I had resorted to taking a pain killer that had been given to me for a short bout of rheumatoid arthritis in my right big toe (no it wasn’t gout) about a year ago. These Diclofenac tablets worked well to lessen the pain but were also very good at making my blood pressure go through the roof (oh didn’t I mention my high blood pressure.) I was getting desperate and willing to try anything, after a bit more google research I was on my way to perhaps the most odd experience of my life, Bowen Therapy. As I lay there in a dark room the ‘therapist’ past her hands over my back and head, every 5 mins or so she would actually touch me, the rest of the time she relied on, what I can only imagine was, magic to fix me. It didn’t work and I didn’t go again.

It had been six months of pain, experimental treatment and incorrect medication. I had come to the end of the road, the pain was getting worse and the only comfortable position was on my back. There was only one thing for it….I went to the doctors.

The doctor recognised the issue straight away and for the first time the term sciatica was used. She suggested although the pain was in my leg the issue was in my back. Anti inflammatory drugs, Naproxen, were prescribed and she suggested I went to see a physio to work on core strength.

The Onesie (warning addictive)

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Ah, Father’s Day in New Zealand—a time for heartfelt gestures and the occasional quirky gift. This year, my dear wife decided to inject a bit of humor into the occasion by presenting me with a onesie. Yes, you heard that right—a onesie, the epitome of comfort and practicality bundled into a single, albeit unconventional, garment.

For the uninitiated, allow me to paint a picture: imagine a garment that envelops your entire body in a cozy embrace, complete with a hood for added snugness. Yes, this is the onesie—a sartorial marvel that defies convention and invites you to embrace your inner child.

At nearly 50 years old, one might assume that such attire is better suited to the younger crowd. However, I am here to dispel that notion. Let me assure you, dear reader, that there is no age limit when it comes to the joys of a onesie. In fact, as the years go by and the responsibilities pile up, the appeal of such comfort only grows stronger.

Picture this: after a long day at work, there’s nothing quite like slipping into your trusty onesie and leaving the cares of the world behind. The soft fabric caresses your weary limbs, while the oversized hood offers a comforting cocoon of tranquility. It’s a feeling of utter bliss—a moment of pure indulgence in a world that never seems to slow down.

But the benefits of the onesie extend beyond mere physical comfort. There’s something undeniably liberating about embracing your inner child and casting off the shackles of adulthood, if only for a moment. As you zip yourself into your onesie, you’re not just putting on a piece of clothing—you’re stepping into a mindset, a reminder to approach life with a sense of whimsy and playfulness.

Of course, I’d be remiss not to mention the sheer practicality of the onesie. With its convenient zippered front, it’s the epitome of easy dressing—perfect for those bleary-eyed mornings when even the simplest tasks feel like Herculean feats. Plus, let’s not forget the undeniable fashion statement it makes. Who needs tailored suits and designer labels when you can rock a onesie with panache?

So, dear reader, if you ever find yourself on the receiving end of a onesie, fear not. Embrace it with open arms (quite literally) and revel in the comfort and joy it brings. After all, age is just a number, but the allure of the onesie is timeless.